Today I had great evening with a girl that I met in the bus :). We met some time ago, she just started talking to me, I talked back, we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet. I love meeting new people and usually I’m the one who talks to people first, so it was a very pleasant surprise for me. I always was wondering, why if somebody somehow is interesting for us we can’t just show our interest to unknown people because it’s something that “normal” people don’t do. Usually everybody just concentrated on own problems and is not suppose even to look at peoples faces more than one second because it can be misunderstood as rudeness or aggression.
So, we met today. Almost from very beginning I noticed that she was worried about something. I asked how was her day and she said: “it was confusing, there are some things that I need to understand but I just can’t”. I asked her if she wants to talk about it, she refused, and despite I was very curious and felt that she could use good conversation at that moment, I need to respect her personal space and I switched subject to usual getting to know routine. We went to drink coffee, we have this amazing places with different kinds of coffee and tea, including various mixes coffee with alcohol. There was some weirdness of strangers talk between us, but I was fascinated by process of getting to know her and listening to her view of things. I love active listening, they say that every person most of all likes talking about himself/herself, but for me it looks like I’m more interested in listening, observing, letting person to say what he/she needs to say. It’s really a pleasure for me. Of course only if person is interesting for me somehow, though I understand that everybody has something special. So, I even didn’t notice how she started telling me what is bothering her. It’s amazing how people can become opened and I love this moment when you feel that they trust you. Her problem was concerning her boyfriend. She told me it quite detailed and while I was listening I saw exactly my story with my almost ex-husband on the beginning of our relationship. And for a moment I saw everything what is going on with her so clear, that I barely could stop myself from giving her advice. Part of me wanted to save her, part of me thought that I know what she is going through. But! I have no right to think even for a moment that I know her and her situation. It’s my experience and it has nothing to do with her. So, I just asked her questions that somebody had to ask me couple of years ago. If it helps her to understand what she wants, what she needs, I will be very happy. If not, I can do nothing about it, because everybody has own life and I have no right to pretend that I know what is better.
On my way home, when I was thinking about our meeting, I noticed that I know some things about her and she knows almost nothing about me. And I’m glad, it means that I was a good listener. It’s not easy to find somebody who wants to listen to what we have to say and I’m happy that she found one.
For some reason, when I usually come back home from meeting with someone I feel more strong that I miss John. Maybe it’s because I still want to share with him my experiences as I used to do… Maybe because I feel more lonely.. I’m wondering what he is doing right now, if he can feel something.. We had this weird thing, we could feel each other without any communication, for example, I could have hair standing on ends a second before he called without knowing that he was going to..
p.s. also today when i was buying a wine I was asked for my id :). I didn’t have an id but I’ve managed to get a wine. Cheers :)
Whiteeecrow's Blog 