Short buddhist outlook on life (by Dalai Lama).

This is true, even if you are not superstitious

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three R’s:

Respect for self

Respect for others and

Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

I also know that dreams really do come true and you have my

Best Wishes and my best efforts in those.

Regards, Dalai Lama

You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.

It’s official. An end to very challenging period of my life. Don’t take me wrong I love challenges, but I don’t like losing my balance and I certainly didn’t expect everything that happened. The worst thing about it was losing  control over my life, crises in almost all areas (except health), broken heart, trust and faith in bright future (for some time).

Positive consequences/realizations:

  • I figured out what was wrong with all my love relationship in the past. It’s definitely huge;
  • I finally realized what I should do with my professional life. It’s tricky to reach it, but I’m ready to work hard and I believe that I will get everything I need along the way;
  • I appreciate much more everything I have in life and I don’t take for granted ability to provide for myself;
  • I take responsibility for my life and I realize that everything I have has nothing to do with actions of others, if I happened to be in a hard situation I definitely did something for getting there;
  • Everything is temporary. I never know what tomorrow brings and I’m learning to accept this. I’m also learning to live in a moment (make detailed plans on the other hand), appreciate things that I have even more, chances that I get and possibilities to make my life the way I want;
  • I’ve learnt a lot about forgiveness;
  • I realized that one can’t be happy if one lives only for his/her own sake. I never lived only for myself, but I didn’t know how deep this rule is;
  • My past doesn’t define my future. There is always the possibility for positive change;
  • Peace comes from within, it is useless to seek it elsewhere;
  • Two people should be happy with their lives to be able to build healthy relationship;
  • Love is not an emotion, it is so much more.

“Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” ~ Samuel Johnson

Dancing in the rain

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

I’m back. I missed you all and I’m glad I have possibility to write again!

If you remember I was going to risk a bit for a sake of moving to another country. I was going to move out from my apartment, take all my stuff and go to another town for taking my visa without even knowing if it’s issued. Next day I was going to have a flight. But as always you never can predict all possible ways. Invitation that I needed for applying for visa didn’t came in time, it was sent by overnight express, but instead of getting here in 2 days it took 6 days :). It traveled almost all Europe and by tracking system after delivering to my country even came back to the previous country. How many more signs do I need :)? So, I let go this opportunity and stay here for a while.

I moved to another town, that’s why I was absent for a while. Here I have much better work and life opportunities. And I’m happy that I finally move forward, I’m happy that I moved out from the apartment where I have so much memories connected to John and where I was stuck for a while. I still need to live with Andrew because of money issues, but as soon as I get new job and have stable income nobody can stop me :).

I have some things to learn why I’m still living with him though. Like how not to be upset when he is aggressive and negative. Some while ago in such kind of situations I would join him and become aggressive myself, now I learned how to recognize first impulse to switch to this wave. It’s an amazing feeling when you stop and understand that there is no sense for arguing, when you stop emotions and see everything clearly. When you are emotional you see that you are right, that somebody is offending you and you need to fight for it, but when your mind is clear you see someones pain, and when this person is screaming at you, you see that he/she is in pain. That this person is hurting… And you see that topic of arguing is usually empty, it’s all about something different, deeper. And sometimes you just want to hug this person and say that everything is going to be alright, that I hear you.

But my problem is that I’m getting upset in such kind of situations and I would like to learn how to handle it better. Because if somebody is choosing to be negative, to be aggressive, why should I let myself down. It’s my life and if I choose to be happy today, I can do it. Everything is irrelevant. My problems, almost all everyday problems are stupid. They don’t worth even mentioning. Because tomorrow they won’t matter at all, they are small and insignificant. I read “Experiences in a Concentration Camp” by Viktor Frankl yesterday. Everyone should read this book in my opinion. Comparing to what he describes my problem of not having a job and living with person I don’t really want to live with is so stupid. Really. I can change my life every moment, I have so many possibilities to do it and all I need is time. I’m healthy, smart, young and free. What do I need more?

I know that tomorrow I may think different for some time and maybe I’ll be upset over something stupid, but it is direction to move to, it is something I want to reach. It’s a process, I get that. My goal is to be happy without depending on external circumstances, to be happy just because I have new brand day every morning and I’m alive.

The sight of the stars makes me dream…

I mentioned before (https://whiteeecrow.wordpress.com/2010/11/07/finally/) that I was about to refuse one of offers for “moving abroad”. But when we started talking with employee, everything got sorted out and we decided to proceed. So, in two weeks I should be there. Of course there are a lot of difficulties, for example I need to move out from apartment and with all my baggage go to another town where I need to pick up my visa and till that moment I don’t even know if it is issued :). No way to do it differently. And next day I already have a flight… So, if something goes wrong, it leaves me in another town, with all my baggage and without apartment. But you know what? I don’t care. I decided that in case some problems appear, I will just stay in that town or move to another one, anyway I have no reason to come back here (I wasn’t going to live here for long time).  I’m considering it like a small adventure. There is no reason to worry, because it won’t help, but it can take away part of my life where I can be happy.

I’m glad that soon I will start new period of my life, though old one was full of useful experiences, it wasn’t easy time and it connected to John in my mind as it started with him and because of his presence in my life.

I couldn’t imagine half a year ago that I’ll be standing where I’m now and will be so calm about all uncertainty that waits me ahead. But we can’t control everything. And without it life would be probably boring.

p.s. I would appreciate if you send me some positive energy “for luck” :)

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.” ~Vincent van Gogh

Idea worth spreading

I used to understand that I had the ability to stop thinking about one thing by consciously choosing to preoccupy my mind with thinking about something else. But I had no idea that it only took 90 seconds for me to have an emotional circuit triggered, flush a physiological response through my body and then flush completely out of me. We can all learn that we can take full responsibility for what thoughts we are thinking and what emotional circuitry we are feeling. Knowing this and acting on this can lead us into feeling a wonderful sense of well-being and peacefulness. ~Jill Bolte Taylor

The best video of this kind I’ve ever seen. It definitely worth spreading.

(originally from: http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html)

Midnight thoughts

I’m holding on to something that is not real. Why, should I ask myself. Obviously John is not the man I should pay attention to. Obviously he is not a Man. But when something happens in relationship both woman and man take a part. What was my role in that? What should I learn about myself? Maybe that I shouldn’t search for love in somebody. I should have it inside already. Deep love for life and myself. Of course I have it, but looks like not enough… All love that I need should be inside already?! Most likely. Then I can give it to others without expectations to get something back.

Just some thoughts inside my head after hard day. And I’m not drunk if you are wondering :).

The dog and the nail

A man had been driving through the country on an old dusty road and was looking for somewhere to rest and stretch his legs. He had been driving for some hours and had not passed any places where he could rest and recharge.

As the sun started its decent into the afternoon the man saw in the distance a small farmhouse. As he drove closer he could see an old farmer sitting on a chair looking out into his fields.

The man, who was in need of a break decided he would pull up to the farm and see if he could rest a while. The man pulled up on the roadside and walked up the well worn driveway. When he approached the old farmer he asked if he could sit next to him and rest a while. The farmer looked up with a piece of straw in his mouth, smiled and nodded at the man.

As the man walked to take his seat next to the old farmer he noticed an working dog lying beside the farmers legs.

Giving the dog a quick pat the man sat himself on the next chair and closed his eyes to give them a well deserved rest.

As time went by the man noticed that the dog sitting next to the farmer would suddenly howl and yelp in great pain then suddenly stop.

The dog did this 3 to 4 times in the hour he had been sitting there and finally the man looked over at the old farmer and asked, ‘why does your dog howl and yelp every now and then?’

The farmer looked down at the dog, shook his head and looked up at the man, the old farmer replied, “you see son this dog here is lying on a nail, but its only hurts enough to yelp about”.

The man looked at the dog and wondered to himself how many things in his life hurt only enough to complain about, but not enough to do something about.

It’s amazing how so simple story can reveal so deep things. How often we hear complains about job, marriage, money, health, life in general, but usually people don’t do anything about it.

Ask yourself if there are some nails you are sitting on? Maybe it’s time to stand up? Can you do something about it today? It can be something small, but it’s a step in the right direction.