I’m here

I can’t tell what is happening in my life and where I dissapeared. I don’t know actually. But I can tell you that I’m happier than I was. I enjoy so much having a “normal” job, new friends, colleagues, new surrounding. Everything is so interesting and fresh.

I can’t really explain even to myself what is going on in my life. I can’t define feelings, thoughts. It’s completely new. It’s not good and not bad. That’s just the way it is. On the other hand, I feel that I’m more aware of what I want and what I do.

I travel much more. I visit one new town per month in my home country and even hope to go abroad for a couple of days in May. I’m about to build my plans for longer period than couple of months and I’m not afraid anymore of undefined state of my life.

And one more thing :). When I came into the town where I live now I had no joy from living here. It may be because of winter, though I love snow, may be because of my state. But actually it doesn’t matter why, now I see it completely different. It’s so charming. I love this city, really. And I want to share a couple of pictures with you. Enjoy :)

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p.s. If you want to visit my city, just drop me a line and I will be your guide :). It’s somewhere in Europe, I can give you details privately.

One definition of love…

Love is difficult to define, and there maybe different definitions. But one definition of love, and perhaps the most pure and exalted kind of love, is an utter, absolute, and unqualified wish for the other’s happiness of another individual. ~Howard Cutler

How many of us think that when they find love they will find something for themselves, like happiness, harmony, somebody will make our life complete, fill “hole” inside, save us from loneliness through giving Us attention, kindness, affection, love, endearment. But actually main point of love is to give. Genuinely wish somebody happiness, to give all those things first of all. Love is not to take, but to give. So simple notion, but so deeply unknown…

The art of happiness

Excerpts from “The art of happiness” by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler.

Sometimes when I meet old friends, it reminds me how quickly time passes. And it makes me wonder if we’ve utilized our time properly or not. Proper utilization of time is so important. While we have this body, and especially this amazing human brain, I think every moment is something precious. Our day-to-day existence is very much alive with hope, although there is no guarantee of our future. There is no guarantee that tomorrow at this time we will be here. But still we are working for that purely on the basis of hope. So, we need to make the best use of our time. I believe that the proper utilization of time is this:  if you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them. I think that is the whole basis of my philosophy.

So, let us reflect on what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that. The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren’t born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities – warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful – happier.

*****

I think that this is the first time I am meeting most of you. But to me, whether it is an old friend or new friend, there’s not much difference anyway, because I always believe we are the same; we are all human beings. Of course, there may be differences in cultural background or way of life, there may be differences in our faith, or we may be of a different color, but we are human beings, consisting of the human body and the human mind. Our physical structure is the same, and our mind and our emotional nature are also the same. Wherever I meet people, I always have the feeling that I am encountering another human being, just like myself. I find it is much easier to communicate with others on that level. If we emphasize specific characteristics, like I am Tibetan or I am Buddhist, then there are differences. But those things are secondary. If we can leave the differences aside, I think we can easily communicate, exchange ideas, and share experiences.

*****

I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. We all are seeking something better in life. So, I think, the very motion of our life is towards happiness…

If



If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

A girl from the bus

Today I had great evening with a girl that I met in the bus :). We met some time ago, she just started talking to me, I talked back, we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet. I love meeting new people and usually I’m the one who talks to people first, so it was a very pleasant surprise for me. I always was wondering, why if somebody somehow is interesting for us we can’t just show our interest to unknown people because it’s something that “normal” people don’t do. Usually everybody just concentrated on own problems and is not suppose even to look at peoples faces more than one second because it can be misunderstood as rudeness or aggression.

So, we met today. Almost from very beginning I noticed that she was worried about something. I asked how was her day and she said: “it was confusing, there are some things that I need to understand but I just can’t”. I asked her if she wants to talk about it, she refused, and despite I was very curious and felt that she could use good conversation at that moment, I need to respect her personal space and I switched subject to usual getting to know routine.  We went to drink coffee, we have this amazing places with different kinds of coffee and tea, including various mixes coffee with alcohol. There was some weirdness of strangers talk between us, but I was fascinated by process of getting to know her and listening to her view of things. I love active listening, they say that every person most of all likes talking about himself/herself, but for me it looks like I’m more interested in listening, observing, letting person to say what he/she needs to say. It’s really a pleasure for me. Of course only if person is interesting for me somehow, though I understand that everybody has something special. So, I even didn’t notice how she started telling me what is bothering her. It’s amazing how people can become opened and I love this moment when you feel that they trust you. Her problem was concerning her boyfriend. She told me it quite detailed and while I was listening I saw exactly my story with my almost ex-husband on the beginning of our relationship. And for a moment I saw everything what is going on with her so clear, that I barely could stop myself from giving her advice. Part of me wanted to save her, part of me thought that I know what she is going through. But! I have no right to think even for a moment that I know her and her situation. It’s my experience and it has nothing to do with her. So, I just asked her questions that somebody had to ask me couple of years ago. If it helps her to understand what she wants, what she needs, I will be very happy. If not, I can do nothing about it, because everybody has own life and I have no right to pretend that I know what is better.

On my way home, when I was thinking about our meeting, I noticed that I know some things about her and she knows almost nothing about me. And I’m glad, it means that I was a good listener.  It’s not easy to find somebody who wants to listen to what we have to say and I’m happy that she found one.

For some reason, when I usually come back home from meeting with someone I feel more strong that I miss John. Maybe it’s because I still want to share with him my experiences as I used to do… Maybe because I feel more lonely.. I’m wondering what he is doing right now, if he can feel something.. We had this weird thing, we could feel each other without any communication, for example, I could have hair standing on ends a second before he called without knowing that he was going to..

p.s. also today when i was buying a wine I was asked for my id :). I didn’t have an id but I’ve managed to get a wine. Cheers :)

Ideal society

Today I had a chance to watch “Avatar”. What can i say? After such movies I usually feel that I don’t want belong to human race… For those who haven’t seen this movie, in two words, it’s about very deep living society that was strongly connected to nature, I would say was really twisted with nature and usual “human beings” that came to conquer land that didn’t belong to them, they didn’t care about beings that lived there, about their culture, they only wanted to get money… They started without any doubt destroying unbelievably harmonic system that existed hundreds of years.

It made me think again about ideal society. Is it possible to create one? Maybe it already existed or exists somewhere right now? Of course ideal things are utopian,  but maybe more or less we can reach something near to that.. Sometimes i think that i would be happy in some Indian tribe. Can you imagine living in harmony with nature, doing simple things, having a lot of time for your thoughts, no electricity, no internet, no tv etc.. ? Of course i understand, that there are a lot of disadvantages of such living, but it looks like this style of living is wiser.  I have feeling that we don’t understand nature deep enough. I’m sure that we can fulfill our internal spiritual energy using energy of water, sun, ground, wind, trees etc.. But we never really tried to do it… Progress is moving in money direction.. I’m sure that our existence by default suppose to be much deeper and possibility that we have to develop spiritually, come to another level of existence are very various and enormous… I hope that some day I will find out more about it and will be able to share the way to reach it..