Dancing in the rain

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

I’m back. I missed you all and I’m glad I have possibility to write again!

If you remember I was going to risk a bit for a sake of moving to another country. I was going to move out from my apartment, take all my stuff and go to another town for taking my visa without even knowing if it’s issued. Next day I was going to have a flight. But as always you never can predict all possible ways. Invitation that I needed for applying for visa didn’t came in time, it was sent by overnight express, but instead of getting here in 2 days it took 6 days :). It traveled almost all Europe and by tracking system after delivering to my country even came back to the previous country. How many more signs do I need :)? So, I let go this opportunity and stay here for a while.

I moved to another town, that’s why I was absent for a while. Here I have much better work and life opportunities. And I’m happy that I finally move forward, I’m happy that I moved out from the apartment where I have so much memories connected to John and where I was stuck for a while. I still need to live with Andrew because of money issues, but as soon as I get new job and have stable income nobody can stop me :).

I have some things to learn why I’m still living with him though. Like how not to be upset when he is aggressive and negative. Some while ago in such kind of situations I would join him and become aggressive myself, now I learned how to recognize first impulse to switch to this wave. It’s an amazing feeling when you stop and understand that there is no sense for arguing, when you stop emotions and see everything clearly. When you are emotional you see that you are right, that somebody is offending you and you need to fight for it, but when your mind is clear you see someones pain, and when this person is screaming at you, you see that he/she is in pain. That this person is hurting… And you see that topic of arguing is usually empty, it’s all about something different, deeper. And sometimes you just want to hug this person and say that everything is going to be alright, that I hear you.

But my problem is that I’m getting upset in such kind of situations and I would like to learn how to handle it better. Because if somebody is choosing to be negative, to be aggressive, why should I let myself down. It’s my life and if I choose to be happy today, I can do it. Everything is irrelevant. My problems, almost all everyday problems are stupid. They don’t worth even mentioning. Because tomorrow they won’t matter at all, they are small and insignificant. I read “Experiences in a Concentration Camp” by Viktor Frankl yesterday. Everyone should read this book in my opinion. Comparing to what he describes my problem of not having a job and living with person I don’t really want to live with is so stupid. Really. I can change my life every moment, I have so many possibilities to do it and all I need is time. I’m healthy, smart, young and free. What do I need more?

I know that tomorrow I may think different for some time and maybe I’ll be upset over something stupid, but it is direction to move to, it is something I want to reach. It’s a process, I get that. My goal is to be happy without depending on external circumstances, to be happy just because I have new brand day every morning and I’m alive.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Dancing in the rain

  1. Shannon says:

    Sounds like you are headed in the right direction girl! Welcome back!

  2. jobo says:

    That is one of my favorite quotes! We are similar, huh. And welcome back…sounds like you are also going through a lot of change and leanring from it and that is so valueable, isn’t it?

  3. hello, whiteeee :-) I’m glad you’re overcoming all difficulties and simply being happy! Keep it up! :-)

  4. thisbrokenhearthashope says:

    Glad to have you back. Funny, I just ordered that exact same quote as one of those wall decals. It means a lot to me.

  5. thaitieuthu says:

    Whitee, i really love this post; it’s directly connected to how i feel. Yes, there is no point to react the certain way when you know exactly how the person is. They don’t know any better. They act like that because they have been so their entire life. All we can do is live. That reason is good enough to be happy.

    In the mean time, I wish you can get the job you deserve. Yes, you got it right. You’re one smartie, beautiful and full of love . Keep it up!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s