One more goal

Mistakes are opportunities for learning. To condemn your brother for making mistakes is to pretend to be mistake free, which you are not. I have asked you before and I will ask you again: which one of you will throw the first stone?

You can release your brother from the judgment you would make of him within your own mind.  To release him is to love him, for it places him where love alone lies, beyond judgment of any kind. (Paul Ferrini)

I forgot to add very important goal to my list. The goal to forgive John for what he did. Actually this is very important one because without accomplishing  it I can’t really be in harmony with myself and surrounding.  Without it I can’t fully accept personal accountability for what I’m feeling. Everything I think, feel, say or do belongs to me. I am responsible for all of it (Paul Ferrini). Doesn’t matter what somebody does, I decide how I feel concerning it.  I don’t need to search for source of happiness in somebody, I won’t find it there. I can find it only inside. If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.

Yes, I can’t get how he could go for his goal so long, be so sure about it, involve other people, make promises, plans, finally make promise to himself (!) never ever give up and then just feel like not doing it. I think I can’t ever understand it, but actually I don’t need to do it. I need to accept. I need to accept that he is different. He couldn’t do better because of his previous life experiences, dispositions, instincts etc. I never was in his shoes,  how can I know how was it for John?  It’s not wise try to understand him through my eyes, using my standpoints, my principles.

I need to forgive John for myself.  I respect myself too much to live with  offense, hate or any negative feeling to him.  I want to move forward without this heavy burden. It’s time to take responsibility for my own feelings and let others be responsible  for themselves.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, when you are ready to stop hurting for what someone else did. . . .

Forgiveness means changing the attitude of disappointment by canceling the expectations and allowing an attitude of unconditional love to flow out to yourself and to the person who disappointed you. You can only release yourself or another from one expectation at a time. We do this by changing the expectations into preferences. The preference states how we would have liked things to be. Forgiveness is a decision not to punish ourselves anymore for the wrongs of others or our own wrong doing. It is a decision to re-enter into the flow of life and love. (Edith Stauffer)

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2 thoughts on “One more goal

  1. Shannon says:

    To tell you the truth I am just getting to the point of forgiveness. I keep thinking I am getting there and then realize I’m much further from it. That certainly takes time.

  2. whiteeecrow says:

    I know the feeling. At one moment I think that it will be not that hard, another – I far from it. Additional problem is that I need to work with John. I try to communicate with him as little as possible, but still it’s hard. He isn’t helping either. Now he is trying to pretend that nothing happened and he is just very cool guy at work… buddy-buddy… Brrr..

    p.s. maybe it will be long-term goal then )

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