The way to myself

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do. (Confucius)

My idea is not new, but it’s unique, because every single person is unique. I’m starting a project. Project that I call “the way to myself”. Destination – the ability to say that I love my life and it exactly the way i want it to be. To become a person that I want to be. So, for today I have:

  • I’m healthy in general, though I have a cold at the moment ( on my opinion usually physical sickness means that something is wrong on mental level, so it will be automatically fixed after fixing some current problems); I appreciate my health a lot and this part of life is one of parts that I’m happy about;
  • I’m living with my husband, we decided that it would be better for us to divorce approximately a half a year ago, now our relations in a weird state, there are some doubts about our previous decision, but still I think that we will end up separated;
  • I have a broken heart. Approximately at same time when we decided to divorce I “met” a man (see previous posts), I fall in love in new way for me, it was very strong feeling, we planed future together, were very close, had a lot of special moments together, a lot of promises from his side, but finally he walked out on me. And the way he did it has made it even harder;
  • I’m working at home, it’s very hard thing to do because: 1. we started partnership with same man that I mentioned above (John); 2. it’s hard for me to work at home. We had ideas for projects and I started one couple of months ago. It appeared that he can’t keep promises not only in personal life. He promised to get clients and so far we have zero. So i’m working without any inspiration and desire to work, but I need to finish this project, I don’t want to leave it on final stage (I believe that it’s almost finished);
  • I’m trying to find a job abroad because I don’t want to live here. I have my reasons. Actually me and my “husband” has been searching for a way approximately 3 years, but all options so far didn’t work out; now I believe we about to do it, but it’s too soon to say;
  • I have couple of very good friends that I love a lot. One of them lives far from me, I see him only once per year, but we talk every day. Another lives here, but since she got married she has not a lot of time for friendship, which is very sad, but it happens. One girlfriend that I considered good friend moved abroad and made me understand that she is not really interested in staying in touch.

Bottom line: there is some space for improving my life which I’m going to use. My goals:

  • heal my heart;
  • find a job which I will enjoy and love, that will help me to develop myself in an effective  way;
  • move abroad (i consider couple of countries) and adapt;
  • make final decision about our divorce, build relations with a man which will make me happy and who I will make happy back;
  • find new friends, improve connection with old ones;
  • start doing yoga again;
  • be more harmonic with myself and world;
  • learn to play saxophone;
  • develop myself in psychology field (my hobby);
  • make my English perfect (hate doing mistakes, but I’m learning all the time);
  • go to psychologist (?).

It’s a short-term goals. When I reach them I will make long-term goals list.

Wish me luck :)!

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2 thoughts on “The way to myself

  1. Shannon says:

    Those are some great goals! Good luck!

  2. whiteeecrow says:

    It means a lot. Thank you, Shannon!

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