Letting go

It’s already 2 months since i’m trying to move on. I can’t say that i’m hopeless, but i still can’t through him out of my head even for one hour… The thing is i don’t want to hate him… And more i try to understand and forgive him, more memories are popping up in my head… And harder it gets to forget about everything, don’t think about him… More i feel that i forgive him, more i feel that i still love him.. at least version of him that i knew before this mess. So, now i’ve got dilemma.  Looks like i have to choose to hate him or to love on this stage. And i have never hated before, i have no desire to carry this feeling with me because this way i will make worse to myself first of all… I need to kill all love related feelings also because he made his choice, he showed clearly that he can’t make it happen though he promised a lot of times that he will do everything for us being together… So, I’m confused…


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